As a kid, I ran through the woods around my house about every other day. But it’s not what you’re thinking… I wasn’t playing tag or chasing my brother. I was running laps as punishment for misbehaving around the house. Unlike the other kids my age who were getting grounded and having their phone (or tv) taken away, I was out there running laps around our hilly one-acre yard. Several laps–until my dad was satisfied. This was how my relationship with running started.

I still recall those quiet evenings with my dad standing by the backdoor holding a stopwatch as the sun began to set, shouting, “You’ve got about three more!” Each lap had to be finished in under a minute and 45 seconds or else I’d go again, but faster this time. Brutal.

I’d push my body out of sheer desperation at home, only to head to softball practice later that same day and face traditional coaches who took the exact same approach:

“You missed five baskets, so you will run five suicides at the end of practice.”

Honestly, it’s a miracle I didn’t grow up associating running with torture.

Why Running as Punishment Misses the Mark

Running as a punishment for poor performance (or in my case, bad behavior at home) is actually pretty common, but sports psychologists strongly advise against it. Here’s why…

1. It creates a lifelong aversion to exercise

When running is framed as a penalty, the brain naturally associates it with shame, fear, failure, and discomfort. I felt this across all the sports I played growing up, including softball, basketball, and volleyball (but oddly enough, never dance).

My traditional coaches used laps to motivate lazy players, which unintentionally wires our brains to connect running with anxiety. If a kid throws a wild ball over third baseman’s head, making them run a lap around the field teaches them to fear making mistakes. That said, I don’t entirely blame coaches; since, after all, it’s the default approach. It’s what those coaches did growing up and experiencing as little athletes themselves. (But it’s still time we break that cycle).

2. It destroys intrinsic motivation

Conditioning is the fundamental success to a winning team. Yes, we need stamina and endurance. It’s just that when it becomes punitive, athletes run purely out of fear or embarrassment or retribution. Don’t get me wrong–fear is a motivator, but a short-term one that leads to quick burnout and resentment toward the coach (and parent).

3. It mistakes physical fatigue for discipline

Physical punishment doesn’t teach the root skill needed to fix a mistake. Period. Take, for example, me running laps at home after breaking a rule. I didn’t learn emotional regulation or conflict resolution. I learned to comply through physical distress. On the field, running laps after throwing a wild ball over third base didn’t fix my mechanics; it just left me exhausted.

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Better alternatives for coaches and parents

Reframing is how we approach discipline. We need our children resilient, and I think everyone can agree with that. We want children who learn from mistakes but aren’t afraid to make mistakes. That starts with separating conditioning from correction.

Growing up, I would’ve loved for someone to sit me down and explain what went wrong and how to fix it. Whether on the field or at home, clear instruction and actionable steps would have eliminated confusion:

Am I running because I made a mistake? Or am I running to get stronger? Why am I running?

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Running by choice…

One of the greatest ironies of my life is that I eventually grew to love running.

I owe this transformation to Pete (RIP), a former high school running coach who sparked my interest in running by using a dash of classic reverse psychology:

“Addie, I bet you can’t run a 5k,” he teased.

That’s all it took: a challenge.

I can’t resist a good competition. I accepted, immediately signing up for my hometown’s Firecracker 5k in 2014. Pete understood my excuses for avoiding running, yet he met me with unlimited patience. We laced up our shoes and hit the pavement together. Up until that point, I had never run three continuous miles in my life. That first run was agonizing. But the second, third, sixth runs? Those… were fun.

I’ll never forget crossing the finish line of that 5k with Pete alongside me right at 30 minutes mark. It was far better than I ever imagined. Even though I pushed myself so hard that I had chills at the end of the race, it was such an empowering experience I’ll never forget.

Since that day, I’ve since run countless other races–all the way up to a marathon. Each run is special in its own way–an opportunity to be extraordinary, a chance to sharpen mental fortitude, and overcome all obstacles.

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So… What should we do?

Exercise should be a celebration of what our bodies can achieve, not a penalty for our mistakes. Whether you’re a parent or a coach, it is never too late to rewrite your (or someone else’s) relationship with movement–or help a young athlete rewrite theirs.

Leave a comment below and share your thoughts. Let’s start with a conversation about how we can build a healthier movement culture.